Looking for Jack Smith

I work in insurance. I quote Fords and Chevorlets, add coverages and advise you against getting a pit bull puppy to keep in your home. My job is interesting, to say the least, but I never find myself swept off my feet and my heart touched by stories of how getting into a car accident led to a marriage proposal. It's just not how my career works, and who cares about all that stereotypical mushy bullshit anyhow, right? I could never design wedding cakes or sell bridal bouquets, because I feel I would always have the urge to gag as I smugly said "Congratulations on your engagement, you're spending an awful lot of money on a cake and a few glorified weeds; and that unfortunately does not guarantee your relationship will work. But good luck anyway, kids!".

Call it bitter or jaded, but my views on being the other half of a couple with someone have changed. Honestly, I don't think I would have actually needed to get married and then divorced at a young age, but that's what happened. It's trendy now, anyway, to meet, fall in love and jump headfirst into the darkness with your fingers crossed. We've taken the phrase "life is too short" and drilled it so hard into our heads that it's damaged the discerning part of our brains that balances logic and love. Red flags are dismissed quickly, and sometimes never discussed out of fear that we will appear paranoid. The man or woman who tells you they are not afraid of being forever alone and can do it convincingly is either the world's greatest liar or a saint. Period.

So we swallow a lot of pain, we choke at the taste and we handcuff ourselves to the ideals we have set and settle for less than what we deserve because it's better than being lonely.

I don't think this is the tragic fate of humanity. I love love. Everyone knows I do. I have a huge heart with an open door policy and damaged as it is, it's no different from anyone else's in it's abilities to give and receive great things.

I spoke to an elderly lady the other day at work. Fridays are always long days for me, as I watch the clock desperately, and practice my time moving super powers that always fail me. She spoke softly as she told me her story. She didn't need an insurance quote, or to report a claim. She didn't call to yell about a bill or to tell me that her insurance rate was too high. She had been a customer of my company for over 25 years, had never married and wanted to get an old agent of her's name and information if I could possibly find it.

She told me his name was Jack Smith, and that many years ago, when she was a young woman, Jack had been her insurance agent. At 83 years old now, she knew he no longer was in the business, but for very personal reasons, it was time she finally got in touch with him. She giggled at this point, and I laughed along with her. Something in the way she said his name, made my heart skip a beat, and I could imagine her's was doing the same thing.

I searched in every data base, wracked my brain to think of a way to find this elusive man, but unfortunately was unable to find anything to help her in her search. She laughed again. "It's alright. I didn't figure you would know, but I am confident I'll find him. You know, honey, try looking for a Jack Smith. I've searched phone books and computers and everyone keeps telling me what a difficult name I'm searching for. All I can ever say is, I realize it's like finding a needle in a haystack, but he's the only Jack Smith that matters to me".

Immediately after I hung up the phone, I turned to my co-worker to tell her the story I had just heard. Hands over our hearts we swooned and cooed over the little old woman and her long lost prince. Sarcastically, to break the welling of tears in my eyes, I made a joke about it being like "The (Fucking) Notebook" and we moved on with our day.

Driving home, I started thinking about the lady again, and I realized how delicate that kind of affection is. At 83, she is still looking, with a peace in her heart, for the one man who was worth it all.

There are a million Jack Smiths in the world. It's not supposed to be like the movies and it's not ever going to be perfect, but if for one moment in our lives we had a connection with someone like my caller had, I believe with all my heart it would restore faith in truthful love.

Dear Jack Smith, wherever you are...