Rant

i am a list maker.
I find that making lists, grocery lists, to-do lists,
Christmas lists, etc, etc, amen, calms my often-very-anxious heart down
to a somewhat steady beat instead of a quick two step dance. When things
are out of hand, I go for the pen and paper.
Honestly.
I'm not even obsessive-compulsive. Just...you know. Me.
You would think under certain
conditions that lists are, perhaps, inappropriate.
You may also be under the impression that list making is
NOT a suitable hobby.
I beg to differ.
I find the older ("older") I get, the more essential lists have
become to keeping my racing thoughts in check; almost as if writing
them on paper is the equivalent of locking up a very, very
unstable man in a small enclosed space. Containment is key.
Even in this very transitional/sad/strange (already listing
again) time, I find myself itemizing my emotions, according
to category, time, place and circumstance. I don't think I
could be any more bizarre, but as the open person that I am, I
truly don't care if it's weird.
Numbering, classifying, listing...
whatever. I always feel better if I can at least have in print
the reality of what I'm actually going to have to deal with. I like to take
a measured approach to everything
...
because, of course, after this initial list,
I can start listing what I need/have/want to do
in order to start resolving those aforementioned listed lists of
realities to deal with. ;)