Mary Did You Know

It's almost Christmas...again. Same thing, every year; I'm trying my best to wrap up last minute gifts and telling myself I'll pick up the ingredients to make Russian Tea Cakes but really I know I'll buy a multi-flavored tin of popcorn and watch Ernest Saves Christmas in my spare moments. It's undoubtedly a different feeling, however, because we have Hendrick this year and even if he's only going to be 8 months, it's mostly about him. He will not have any idea of what's happening other than Mom keeps crying and snapping pictures and handing him boxes full of crap wrapped in really awesomely-loud paper. He will spend his first Christmas morning pooping himself at leisure, crawling around collecting any miniscule scrap of wrapping along with pine needles and cat hair and attempting to eat it before it is (rudely) snatched out of his tiny paws.

Anyway. All I started thinking about"first" first Christmas, with Mary and Joseph and the donkeys and the Jesus when I was setting up my ancient nativity. I mean, call it a story, or believe it with your whole heart, but I wonder how it really went down in Bethlahem way back before iPads and stockings and people bludgeoning each other over TVs at Wal-Mart. Before mom groups and hospital birth and the lot. I'm not sparking a religious debate, just speculating.

So when Mary got pregnant, everyone just accepted that it was immaculate. There was no question around town as to whether she was just doing it for attention and no one posted on Facebook: OMG. SOME girls will do anything for attention #anangeltoldme #yeahright. She wasn't Instagramming her belly-progression photos. You can bet your sweet ass no one threw her a fantastic themed baby shower complete with cake pops. No one was like "So Mary, are you going to breast feed Jesus? Cloth diaper? Natural birth? Have you thought about vaccinating?!?!". I'm not saying that any of those things are bad, I just think sometimes how NICE it must have been to be Mary. Just her and her tiny growing miracle. No need to debate over who was going to be in the delivery room or which doctor was better or having to write out a birth plan (hello, yes, I would prefer a manger over a crib, thanks).

Realistically, she was probably scared. I can't imagine for one second she didn't freak out on Joseph at least ONCE for making her haul the water or not blowing the candle out early enough at night and keeping her up. SERIOUSLY JOSEPH PICK UP YOUR #$@*% ROBES OFF THE FLOOR.

She was young, there was no modern medicine to walk her through the stages of labor, no hypnobabies, no option of an epidural. She didn't have a doula or her mom or even a hot bath to climb in. She was the ultimate hardcore mom. For all we know Joseph was like, peace out I'm going to go sit outside until you're done because I'm going to throw up otherwise.

 I would have LOST MY SHIT if Josh had told me that I had to give birth in a barn, next to the horses, after making me ride a donkey for like, 100000000 miles. I would NOT have been as gracious when the Three Wisemen showed up unannounced with myrrh and not a McChicken (because that is ALL I wanted after delivery). I would not want random shepherds all up in my business and hay poking in unimaginable spots.

So regardless of how you view Christmas and the story that goes along with it, whether you choose to celebrate or not, I am thinking of Mary and her baby, who turned out to be this famous guy, and she probably didn't even know how to properly baby-wear.

If you need us we will be gluing the camel's head back onto our Nativity. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and New Year.