venom

It's nearly impossible to look beyond words.

I hear you saying "Stupid. Ignorant. Uneducated". Are you labeling me or behind the phrases crouching quietly? Are thinking solely about yourself in actuality, and questioning if you're: "Scared. Frightened. Unsure"?

Wouldn't we all benefit from a little kindness?

I answer phones. I stand behind a camera. Okay? I'll admit it. I'm never really face to face with the other person I'm dealing with. It's like talking to someone from the other side of a wall, there's a certain amount of comfort that comes from it, but along with that comes a false sense of bravery. You can't actually hurt me, you can't actually touch me, what's the harm?

In essence, it seems we've all put up some sort of invisible wall to the people around us. Maybe we're hurting, maybe we're going through a divorce, maybe our child is dying, our car broke down, we are completely out of money. Maybe we're just lost. Maybe we're all of the above and also we're having a really bad hair day. Who's to say? But because of our secret self obsession with ourselves, we tend to completely disregard our fellow man.

I know I'm guilty of it.

I spit out words with the force of a bullet on bad days. I completely overlook how it may affect others. I get the same in return, and we keep firing off shots until we're at a Mexican Standoff. Not a one of us is willing to budge, and look beyond the hurtful phrases, or uncaring gestures and see the deeper side of the conversation.

It's hard to discect. It's hard to seperate. It's hard to believe that because you're having a bad day, you'd want to pull me down below your level, even, and then stomp all over my face until I'm rendered paralyzed from the neck down. Emotionally and physically.

It's hard for me to take a step back and realize that your verbal assault is likely stemming from the fact that you just lost your job, your pet, your grandmother, your will to live, etc, etc, etc. It's hard for me to have any sympathy for you because of the way you would treat a complete stranger. It's easy for you to do this because maybe you don't have to look me in the eye.

But I'll get over it. And tomorrow, when I'm having that day, where my life seems to be falling apart, and before I bite the head off of a stranger (and then laugh at their gaping, open neck wound)...maybe I'll stop. In the nick of damn time.